This morning, I was angry. Quite angry. Someone that I know – an acquaintance really, said something to me in an email, that hurt my feelings. And, because it hurt my feelings – I got angry. And I shouldn’t have even let it get me upset in the least. It was really an unimportant statement, that was an issue within them, not me. And it really didn’t even affect me at all – so I have no clue why it hurt my feelings. I am a softy that way, I guess. The term crybaby could be inserted here and be quite applicable. And to be honest, I don’t know why. I don’t know why, I let the criticism of one – overpower the support of thousands. And it wasn’t even criticism, I don’t guess. It was, well, it was weird. And that got me thinking. Why do we do that? Why do we allow ourselves to be so wrapped up in the opinions of others, that we forget that we answer only to one. Why do we allow negativity to bring us down. Especially, when we have so much support?
This question, I do not know the answer to. Maybe people want to see us fail. Maybe they will. Maybe, deep down, we are afraid that we will. But, as a wise man once said, be content. I am going to celebrate every victory that I have. Whether it be big or small. And just be happy, that today, I am here. That today, I have people who love and support me – and not everyone is going to do that. And I will be happy for that. Because even if, the whole world doesn’t support me – the ones who matter to me most do. So why do I care? So now, I am thankful for that email. Because it made me realize – that all I can do is my best. And I answer to no one but God, myself, and my kids. And maybe, just maybe, that’s something that I needed to happen, so I could figure this one out on my own.
I miss Shaun so much. He was such a support – such a level head – such a cheerleader for me. With him, I knew nothing was impossible. And no matter what, big or small, he would say, “We got this, baby girl.” Well, he’s still here. I have a beautiful boy to look at everyday that’s his spitting image. I have Tariq and Isabella – who laugh and talk about him all the time. And guess what? “We got this, kiddos. No worries.” It’s my job now, to pick up where he left off. And I got this, I got to. Thanks baby, you are still around – you are keeping this head of mine level and positive. I love you for that, so much.
Here’s a video I saw by Steven Furtick today. And it made me feel validated. This is something I could hear Shaun say. We often only see our own sides. I might not see theirs – but I will try to respect that there is another side – besides my own.