I used to love Sunday nights. Me, Shaun, and the kiddos would go to church. Then when we got home we might take a nap, then we would sit around and watch TV. Shaun and I would play Uno after the kids went to bed… and it was nice and relaxing. I feel kinda weird on Sunday nights now. Almost like I don’t know what to do. I throw myself into everything on Sunday nights. I make plans to do household stuff on Sunday nights. Like tonight, I repainted Isabella’s toes and fingernails. Gave her a bath. Dried, flat-ironed, her hair. Dyed my blonde streaks re blonde. (if that ‘s even a word). Gave Jacoby a long bath. Cleaned the downstairs. Had Tariq take a shower. Went through the clothes in his room – and I’m not done yet. I just keep trying to fill the time. I am ready for Monday morning – just so Sunday night is over. But, I love the time with the kids, I do. It’s just weird – kinda like a third dimension type of thing. Like something seems off kilter, and no matter how hard I try to avoid what I am trying to avoid – it’s lurking there in the corner. So, tonight I decided I would stop the crazy running around – and self admit that I am trying to ignore the fact that Sunday nights make me sad. So there it is. I said it. It’s out there. I thought writing it might help a little bit. but it definitely didn’t. 😦
Here is a little humor that just happened during the middle of this blogpost. Tariq and Isabella started yelling at each other over the iPad. So, I made them put it away. Made Tariq turn off his cell phone. And you wanna know my punishment for them talking ugly to one another? I am making them sit on the couch and hold hands. I am cracking up. They look miserable – feel free to use that one if you ever need to.
Shaun would appreciate that one.
Sorry to skip topics there for a second, but real life does occur during my blog. 🙂 Now you got proof. Anyway, I just am sick of feeling out of my element. I know that there are big changes going on in my life, and this might be a learning curve, some part of my journey. But please, please – just pray for strength for me. I kinda feel like a fish lost at sea. Love you guys.